PCC Internship

My church back home (California) has this amazing summer internship for college students and they're still looking for applicants this summer. If any of you are interested or know someone who might be, pass this on!



http://www.peninsulacovenant.com

Study Buddy

I have to be honest that I'm really tired of school, Chicago (this weather has really gotten to me), and the uncertainty of the details in my future. It's hard to motivate myself to do anything, and I don't like that. My default mode to "do nothing" or "do something semi productive" isn't pleasing to the Lord. I know this well. 

So please, help me put my faith into action: will someone do homework with me tomorrow? Or just be in the same room as me while I do mine? My apartment, the library, the yearbook office, anywhere. I don't have any classes, and I don't want to sleep in til noon. 

Amani Baby Cottage

Dreams of Grace

The other night I had a dream. I was at the airport, going to Japan. 

I lost track of time. I looked at a clock, and it was six. Six? My flight left at six! I can't miss this flight! I have to get to Japan! I can't afford to miss this flight! 

So I start running, panicking. How could I have lost track of time like that?

I kept running through this strange airport that I didn't recognize. I didn't know where I was going. And then I saw another clock: it was only 5:40. I hadn't missed the flight, I was just late for boarding. Ohmigosh. 

I can still make it. 

Then I woke up. 

The next day, I had another dream. I was in a train station, browsing through one of the convenience stores for snacks for my flight to Japan. And then I realized that I had gotten sidetracked, and was supposed to have been at the airport already. Running. Running through a strange airport that I had never been to before, trying to find the airline I was supposed to check in with. 

Then I woke up.

I was thinking about the dreams today. It came to me pretty quickly, actually. They're about grace, even though I've developed senioritic tardiness. 

Example 1: Three weeks before spring break I was given an assignment due for the Wednesday after. I procrastinated because I really didn't want to do the assignment. Not even a bit. The week before break, I knew that I was in trouble - I still had the entire assignment to do, and it was a lot of work that required other people - people who would be gone for break. Two nights was not enough to get it done. 

Then Wednesday, the last night of class before break. My professor gave us an extension: a whole extra week. My butt was saved. Somehow I got motivated and finished a good chunk before break started, and got 75% of the total work done before the Wednesday after break (we did have to send in a rough draft instead). 

Example 2: There was another project that I had two weeks (including spring break) to do. I tried a little bit, but other stuff got in the way. I got tired of it, got frustrated with it, and didn't want to do it. It was due today, Thursday, at 6:30. Photoshop mockups for a design class. Well, you can't force creativity... but I honestly didn't try hard and I had a bad attitude. 

So today began and I took my sweet time in the morning, took a test, and continued to take my sweet time in the afternoon, until I started to do some sketches. I figured sketches would be something... 

And then I got an email from my prof saying that she cancelled class because too many people are leaving early for Easter. We could send her jpgs of our work before tomorrow. Hooray! And then I got motivated and got something kinda cool finished. Still needs a lot of work, but its a workable idea. 

All that to say, really... that I didn't deserve that grace. I deserved lowered grades and no chance for making up the work I slacked off on. I didn't deserve to have a second shot because I had had a horrible attitude. I didn't deserve the free time that I stole from my homework. 

The Lord reminded me in my dreams that He had given me grace, and that I should be humble. If you see me in the next few days, remind me that I have been given grace, and that I should not squander it. 

The Lord, He is good and His mercy endureth forever. 

I have been in a really really dry place lately. I have been here for longer than I would like. But just the other day, God and I had a little talk and it sparked some motivation to start getting out of this awful place. Tonight I came home from work, I sat down with my dinner and pulled out my Bible. In the past, anytime I have ever been in a dry place, the book I find myself always turning to is Psalms. And sure enough, here I sit with my Bible open to that same book. I opened it up to Psalm 55 and started to read through it and realized that what David was crying out is what my heart is crying out right now. Then I thought about how many times I have sunken to a place that I do not want to be, turned to the Psalms and repeated those prayers as my own. Yet still, time after time, I find myself still back in a terrible place where my heart is not right. I started to think about how I wish I had the heart of David, but am so far from it that I cannot even imagine what it would be like to be a woman after God's own heart. And then something occured to me, that David did not just cry out to God every now and then, he cried out to God from the days of his youth...ALL THE TIME. He prayed without ceasing and in that he began to know what it meant to be a man after God's own heart, to be a man that was so in love with God that he could not get enough. That, my friends, is what I lack the most. The time that I spend crying out to God, bearing my soul, praising him for everything is so sub par it is unbelievable. My desire is to be a woman after God's own heart. I want to be aching to know Him. I want to feel so empty and barren when an oppotunity to spend time with Him is passed by that I will not be able to do anything but fall to my knees and cry out to him.

Friends, my relationship with God has gotten to a place that is worse than it has ever been before. I have felt more weak and hopeless than ever before. But I leave you with the good news that I am on my way to restoration, restoration of my heart and of my soul...of my whole life.

I love you all, thank you for being such wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ.

-Amanda Newton

Update on Doctor's Visit

Turns out there is no 'test' for PCOS because they have really no idea what it's caused by. Instead, they told me I've gotta change my diet/ exercise and they've given me birth control to force my body to ovulate. Apparently, because I'm not ovulating, I'm at a higher risk for uterine (uterus) cancer and diabetes/high blood pressure. 

My main concern is the birth control, I've heard good things and bad things, and I'm really hoping for the good things. But, I react fairly well to medication, so that's a plus. 

hi guys,

tomorrow i go to see the doctor about pcos, and if you guys could pray that i dont have to do more tests than what i have to do tomorrow, that'd be great. 

i really just want to do this once, and find out quickly.

Words On Grace, or the Lack Thereof

I've re-written this post at least 5 or 6 times, because I don't want to say phrases that are tired and allegories that are overused. So I won't.

This song reminds me of how much I don't get grace.

---

To Be Alone with You- Sufjan Stevens

I'd swim across lake Michigan

I'd sell my shoes

I'd give my body to be back again

in the rest of the room

To be alone with you

To be alone with you

To be alone with you

To be alone with you

You gave your body to the lonely

They took your clothes

You gave up a wife and a family

You gave your ghost

To be alone with me

To be alone with me

To be alone with me

To be alone with me

You wen upon the tree

To be alone with me, you went upon the tree.

I've never known a man who loves me.

Please pray...

Hey guys.
So this trip for us has already been filled with tension and some unexpected turns...and we haven't even left yet. Please keep us in your prayers this week - especially as we get started. We will be leaving at around 3 AM this morning since Eric's brother Brian is coming to pick us up from Nebraska. Pray that this will be a refreshing time for all of us and that we will be safe on the road.
I love you guys! Thanks for being our family here.

I need to ask you guys for continued prayer for Uganda. I talked to my mom today to tell her a little bit more about my plans for the trip and the rest of the summer and she once again has decided we need to talk more about... which was her basically saying I can't go unless I find a group to go with. As logical as her argument may sound, I need to do this alone. I need to own this trip as my own and be confident that God is going to provide for me. Continue to pray for a change in her heart as I will be home this week and I'm sure this will be a topic for much tension.

Allison's comments...Post Script

So, just want to clarify that tonight is the first time I have published anything on the blog, for those of you who were confused by my previous comment. I have enjoyed everyone's postings...especially Beth's Eagle picture.
love you all--

allison

Allison's comments...

Finally! Lisa saved me from my blogging ignorance, and I have been released to publish on my own accord ( I was listed under Peter for some weird reason). I actually have my own blog...just could not figure out for the life of me how to use this one! sheesh!

I have been struggling with a bad attitude the past couple of days. It must be a pretty penetrating bad attitude, because it is coloring my dreams and impacting the way I think about class work and the purpose of being in college. It has been hard to pray, and I feel a greater pull toward the world and its pleasures. So I have been listening to hymns, reflecting on the lyrics, being reminded that there is a world beyond our own, or as Marcus says, alongside our own, that is filled with spiritual significance. As I was listening to "As I survey the Wondrous Cross" tonight, I was filled with appreciation for a Christ who resonates beyond my perceived reality and "does battle" with the principalities and powers FOR ME. Our Christ is Life. Our Christ feeds us and animates us and encourages us in our weaknesses, even as HE DOES BATTLE FOR US against the spiritual forces that try to take our joy and beat us to the ground, even attack our basic belief in the Power of the Cross.

As a sociology major, I am constantly confronted with the ideas (some very valid) that "man makes society, man makes religion, man makes god." It is easy to justify the "man makes religion" part, because it is true to a very great extent...but it becomes easier to say, then, that we have created "god" as well. Oh Lord Jesus...please deliver me from forgetting the Reality of the Cross, the Reality of the Spirit, the Reality of the Eternal Grace and Eternal Salvation you have created us to enjoy...beginning now. Thank you for Your Blood; thank you for your Resurrection Life that we have the honor to partake in TODAY! Lord you are Good! Lord, we Love You!

Please pray for me...
and thank you to those who have.

Be encouraged. Christ is Life.

allison

Im not peter anymore

I think I can actually post on this thing now...
I'm not Peter anymore, though I must admit, it was really interesting being, you know, him.
hehe.
getting serious...
pray that my brains don't fall out.
hours of work, no time awake.
love
al

A quote to probe your thinking

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Gil Bailie

John Eldridge shared this in "Wild at Heart" and I have no idea when/where Mr. Bailie, a catholic layman/author/lecturer, stated this, but I feel like it is fitting for the notion of championing each other on in our dreams and visions. I doubt that one's foremost dreams are full of dull and trite ambitions. As Christians, Christ should be the one that makes us come alive (does "Christ is life!!" echo with anyone?) and by way of our vibrant relationship with him can we understand what it is that empowers, energizes, and ultimately enables us to follow our dreams and visions.

Also, Eric and I shared an interest today in a pre-spring break get-together/dessert/prayer on Thursday Night 8:30ish ---- any takers?

Blessing

Blessed are all who fear the Lord,

who walk in his ways.

You will eat the fruit of your labor;

blessings and prosperity will be yours.

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;

your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.

Thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord.

May the Lord bless you from Zion all the days of your life;

may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,

and may you live to see your children's children.

Peace be upon Israel.

Psalm 128

Fear the Lord, and may you be blessed today as you seek to bless and serve others!

Multi-faceted worship

Last Friday I had the oppurtunity to finally attend theMILL (New Life Church's college ministry here in the springs). I had been looking forward to it for some quite time as it had been weeks since I had actually had the chance to attend. One thing theMILL is known for is absolutely amazing worship times. Indeed it was no disappointment. "Small" and "intimate" are not words that describe worship times at theMILL. Rather, words like "rowdy" and "powerful" more appropriately characterize it.

I love how worship has many different dimensions to it.

Worship is indeed a gateway to taking us into the presence of God. No doubt there are days where my God time simply doesn't get started without sung worship streaming through my headphones.

Others, worship is a true manifestation of where our walk with Christ is on that given day... things he's shown us and us echoing back to Him the love He's poured on us. These are the days where it feels as though we simply can't contain the love that God has given us and we absolutely have to sit at His throne and worship, less we will explode. These days are especially great and I'm quite confident God is especially keen of us capitolizing on these days with song and dance.

But there's one element that I think is mis-interpreted quite frequently in the church and that is the idea that we are putting on a concert for God everytime we gather for worship. I don't think it's any secret that God loves music. Nearly every instance where heaven is mentioned in the bible a mentioning of trumpets and music follows shortly thereafter. Or how about David? The guy after God's own heart!... obsessed with song and dance for the Lord. He even devoted vast amounts of Israel's resources to having people that played music 24 hours a day in his tabernacle. So if it's no secret as to how much God loves music, why are we so hesitant to put song and dance on the top of our list of things to do really well? I for one want God to look down on our times worship and be captivated by the show we're putting on. That means giving all we have whether it be resources, time or just a completely devoted heart.

If you talk to any performing musician they will tell you that they feed off of the crowd. The better the crowd is into it, the better the artist is into it. We as worshippers have the most committed crown of all time: The God of the Ages! The crowd is waiting, and He wants the greatest encore ever! Let's give it to Him.

Thoughts

I am not a person particularly drawn to the "Native American" type paintings. But I was looking online for images that I needed for an art class, and I came across this one. I know that not all of you are artists or drawn to the visual arts, but if you can, appreciate this with me for a moment. I think that the first thing that catches my eye in this image is the sheer vibrancy and almost translucency of the colors in it. And everything is taking flight and soaring...the mountains are reaching and sloped towards the heavens, the eagle is soaring on the wind, and everything seems centered around the sun.

Poor explaination for such a profound image. But close your eyes and imagine for several seconds that you are this human...and everything in this painting is what you are experiencing...and you will find yourself surrounded not just by the awesome beauty of nature, but the powerful and overwhelming presence of God!

I think I understand why David focuses so much in the Psalms on nature praising the Lord and bringing glory to him. Isn't it amazing that the Lord created literally EVERYTHING to bring him praise and glory?! And the coolest thing about it is that our experience of those things can actually be a form of worship to our Lord!
I am in complete awe of who the Lord is as I stand on this rock surrounded with the power of his presence and might!

hmmm....

This is the waterfall that never falls....or does it?
Kudos to M.C. Escher!